FOND AND FAMILIAR

Performed before a live audience, and then broadcast on BBC Radio on Christmas Day, 1996

Program devised by John Moffat,

and performed by Judi Dench, her husband Michael Williams, and John Moffat.

Side 1:

Come, read to me some poem. - Judi, then John, then Michael

Laugh and the world laughs with you - Judi, then John, then Michael

" IF " - all three, ended by Michael

Epitaphs :

I’m going to do nothing for ever and ever - Judi

Winter flannels - Michael

Passing bus - John

Mary Lauder - Judi

Philosophy:

Laughter and the Love of Friends - John, Judi

Couldn’t Do It! - Michael

The Fallen Woman – "Curse the idle rich." All three sing, "It’s the same the whole world over."

Two Women – Judi

3 Epitaphs: John Bunn – Michael Poor Wife - John Mary Anne - Judi

Laska – Michael

Epitaphs: Mother of seven - Wake another storm - So am I - Ann Mann

The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God (slight tape break at end of this)

Parodies of Yellow God: . . . .

Waterloo – Michael Mutton dressed as lamb – Judi Naughty Laundry Worker – Judi

"A Dame of the British Empire!" (John)

3 Nursery rhymes:

There was a little girl - Judi

Simple Simon - John

Jack and Jill - Michael

Clementine Michael, Judi, John Michael sings

Three Universal Legends:

Martin - John

Merchant of Baghdad – Michael

The Lady and the Tiger – Judi

The Pig Got Up and Slowly Walked Away John, with Judi

Parodies:

O’Reilly Cab Horse "Slowly walked away," they all sing & march offstage to this. End of part one.

Trees in the quad - Lady named Bright - Family named Stein - God Save the Weasel

I sat next to the Duchess at tea - Judi

"The Limerick"– John " SO " Michael (Here Judi looks at Michael with alarm!)

The breasts of a barmaid – Michael (Judi protests)

Old maid of Pitlochary - John

Titian was mixing rose madder - Michael (John; "Shall I do another one?")

Waldorf Astoria - John (Through all of these, Judi is commanding them to stop the naughtiness.)

The limerick is furtive and mean - Judi

More Epitaphs:

Mother of 28 - Husbands 1,2,3 - No affair of yours - Cheltenham waters -

Which way you went? - Mary Arlot - Judi, Scottish accent, "An extraordinary thing for Aberdeen"

Miss Brown – John sings

Gaze on thy glorious behind - Judi

What is a bastard, Daddy? – Michael

"Your baby ‘as gone down the plug ‘ole" - John, Michael, Judi, Irish accent, "Not lost, but gone before."

Around the Corner - ‘young girl,’ Judi

"If you haven’t been the lover of the landlady’s daughter" - All three sing, with sober faces.

Bleedin’ sparrow ‘awk – Michael (slight break here)

The Road to Mandalay - John

Animals: And so they all went home again - Judi The Rabbit - John

What a wonderful bird the frog are - Michael

A little hot cross Bun! - Judi - The billy goat - John

I know two things about the horse – Michael – (Here Judi shoots him a warning glance.)

The amorous urge of the camel - All; punch line by Judi

Billy’s Rose - Judi

The man who wasn’t there - Never knew - I love ‘em when they get that way

Wise old owl - Solomon Grundy - Gypsies in the wood

Michael’s "Celebrated Party Piece."

The Key of the Kingdom

The Night Shall Be Filled With Music

There’s a Barrel Organ Caroling

When You Come to the End of a Perfect Day

This is the end. There is applause, and they bow to the audience. Then, with perfectly straight faces, they sing "Be Kind to your Web-footed Friends," and march off the stage.