One Knight Only
A Variety Performance for the Tsunami Disaster
Theatre Royal Haymarket -- March 20, 2005
Last Updated:  August 06, 2008

Dame Judi and Brendan O'Hea performing "I am Sixteen ..."
Watch an earlier version of this performance from the NFA Enchanted Evening Gala -- 2002
 

The Dames Rap

At Rehearsal

Paul B's, UK, Account of the Evening ...

I was at One Knight Only on Sunday... After the initial groan when Ned Sherrin announced that Dame Maggie wasn't going to be there (she did a voice message from the Isle of Man where she's filming Keeping Mum), the evening did have some treats. Dame Judi dressed as a nun so that she could do the "show him your cross" gag with Kevin Spacey (nun jokes always go well!), and then reappeared doing "16 going on 17" - brilliant routine and very funny. Diana Rigg only flitted in at the beginning and end, for the "Dame rap" - scripted by Eileen Atkins' old writing partner Jean Marsh (also an actress). Completely bizarre but entirely memorable (and highly unsuitable to quote here....). Eileen Atkins did a tap dance (which reminded me that she and Maggie had learned tap together in Oxford - or at least that's what Maggie said at the 1997 Evening Standard Awards...). But perhaps the best things in the whole evening were Sian Phillips do an amazing rendition of Noel Coward's In a Bar at the Piccola Marina (I wish I'd seen in her cabaret or in her show Marlene), Celia Imrie and Sally Ann Triplett raid the dressing up box from their current musical Acorn Antiques and emerge as '40s comedy stars Gert and Daisy, singing "leave my butter alone", and Josie Lawrence pulling out all the stops for her superb comic song "Tired and emotional" (ending the song hair and makeup awry - or covering her whole face....). And, of course, it's always great to get free champagne at the interval!

Warning ... a more risqué discription of the skits ... mature readers only

Judi, dressed as a nun, and another nun companion are suddenly hurled abuse by someone from a box  in the theatre (that "someone" turns out to be Kevin Spacey...). He accuses them of denigrating nuns and how they wouldn't really do cartwheels and juggle across the stage (2 people had doubled as Judi and co to do such things about 5 seconds earlier), and how they're not real nuns at all. Anyway, Kevin Spacey yells at them, leading Judi's companion nun to say:

"Of course we're real nuns. We can prove it. [nudges Judi Dench] [to Judi] Go on, show him your cross."

[pause as Judi thinks]
Judi to Kevin Spacey: "F*** OFF!!!"

Ah yes, the oldies are always the goodies....

Wish I could remember the Dame Rap, but before they sang it, Clive Rowe serenaded them with a song about "fabulous dames" [as Ned Sherrin, the compere said, "5 Dames - and 1 at a distance"]  - they then all pirouetted on to the stage.... All I can remember is that the final line of the Dame rap was, "We've got the motherf******* DBE!"

Other info I forgot to put on: Helen Mirren read Tennyson's "When I have crossed the Bar"; Joan Collins read from Kipling's "If"; Joshua Jackson and Patrick Stewart performed a scene from their current David Mamet play, "A Life in the Theatre", which is on Shaftesbury Avenue at the moment; Zoe Wanamaker and Miranda Richardson read extracts from eye-witness accounts of the tsunami; Bob Hoskins read "Waiting for the barbarians."

Kim Cattrall and JOanna Lumley didn't appear in the end.
 

A special thank you to Paul for sharing his experience

A Special Thank You to Connie E, USA, for scanning and sharing this Flyer

Steve Wright in the Afternoon
Broadcast on BBC Radio 2 - Tue 08 Mar, 2005 - 14:00

Click Here to Listen to Dame Judi's Interview
MP3 Format  ( 6:00 Minutes )
She discusses the new Bond Film and this "One Knight Only" Variety Show plus more
 

A Special Thank You to Sian N. for bringing this Radio Broadcast to my attention

New

Thanks to Jana for scanning and sending these newspaper articles / photos

By James Inverne
15 Feb 2005

A clutch of enobled British thesps are coming together to raise money for the Asian Tsunami Appeal. The Theatre Royal, Haymarket will host no fewer than six dames, one knight, and other stage luminaries on March 20 at 7 PM.

The gala show, entitled One Knight Only (referring to the only Sir in the line-up, Anthony Sher), will be hosted by Ned Sherrin. The evening’s entertainment will also include Dames Joan Plowright, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Eileen Atkins, Helen Mirren and Diana Rigg. There will also be turns from Kim Cattrall, Edward Fox, Celia Imrie, Joanna Lumley, Sian Philips, Patrick Stewart and Zoe Wanamaker.

The evening has been put together by Plowright’s daughter, Julie-Kate Olivier. Money raised by the evening will give direct support to small organisations in the devastated regions, which benefit local knowledge and expertise.

Thanks to Lisa S, UK, and Matt for first bringing this event to my attention

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